Mattress, Mac Tweet Inspired by a mattress I saw up on blocks and couldn’t figure out why it didn’t collapse like this.
Two-a-Days Tweet I love milk shakes, except that I’m cheap and the ice cream by itself is usually less expensive.
Wasted Time (playing in the background) Tweet Remember when it was just going to be “two weeks to flatten the curve”?
And Four of Them Would Make … Tweet I remember actually having this conversation back in elementary (and neither of us knew what it meant).
What’s Up, Swabby? Tweet When I got my covid test, it felt like the swab was as long as depicted here and that they were trying to see if they could push it all the way through my head. In the words of my doctor, “I’m going to touch your brain now.”
Alcoholic Whoops Tweet We have alcoholic wipes at work we’re supposed to use on our tablets. I’ve learned to not use them unless my car door is open or the window is rolled down, otherwise they about knock me out.