Horace Airfilter, owner of Horace’s Air Filters, is well known for distrusting everything that comes from the government. “Any gummint!” he says, whether asked or not. He has a long-standing animosity toward Social Security, the Fair Housing Act, the EPA and congress. In his front yard are signs that say, “Never trust the government!” and “Government Will Always Make the Problem Worse!” (among other things).
Abilene Christian University, flagship secondary education institution of the non-instrumental Churches of Christ, has made the following inspirational announcement concerning their historic and award-winning five hundred piece band:
“The Wildcats of ACU have always been and always shall be very proud of our band and its accomplishment. While never as well-known, respected or entertaining as the Cowboy Band from our cross-town rival Hardin-Simmons University, we have prided ourselves on always making a joyful noise—but never to the Lord, for that would be blasphemous.
A local Catholic priest, who spoke to us on condition of anonymity, said that half of all confessions anymore were just from people who found themselves watching “Game of Thrones”.
Rogue videographer James O’Keefe is hinting that his next world-changing video will provide indisputable proof that beloved songster Bill Gaither not only enjoys playing heavy metal Christian vinyl on the boss Realistic stereo system he has set up in his basement, he admits to frequently jamming along on a vintage key-tar.
Hundreds of Calvinists from across the Lone Star State who gathered in San Antonio this weekend to learn how to do evangelism were challenged by the theme, “Don’t Bother”.