No Bad Advertising

We were on a company picnic to the local AA minor league team (“The Bladder Spasms”) and we kept hearing all these endorsements for foul balls, double plays, walks, seemingly every conceivable play. I suggested we do this (since we are a hospice company). The marketing staff didn’t go for it. The funny thing was that, about five minutes after I suggested it, the local team actually pulled off a suicide squeeze!

RBA – Death-Metal Artist Hits Big time, Immediately Converts to Christianity

Local death medal singer, Limon Green, who has fronted the Satanic band Unawear for the last several months, has given up on his childhood faith as soon as he tasted the sweet temptation of success. “It’s sad, but not all that strange,” said drummer/lighting technician Howie “Howie” Moncoloia, “We see it all the time in this business. A guy rockets to fame and, as soon as it happens, the lure of forbidden fruit lures him away from his childhood faith. I know we can find someone else to front us, but I just can’t imagine anyone else ever belting out ‘(I’m Gonna) Run Over You with My Cabriolet’ with the same passionate hate Limon always effused.” No attempts were made to contact Mister Green but several comments came in from his publicist (who we think is also his sister) inviting all reporters to “taste and see that the Lord is good”.

RBA = Rejected Babylon Bee Article